Why English Teachers Are Important

A friend sent me this, copied from the Internet.

I read a longer version of something similar, if I remember rightly, in a New Zealand newspaper, which took the letters, originally written in the previous century, from a recently published book.

The New Zealand version showed two letters from a girl whose parents had told her to write a letter breaking off with her sweatheart. Before she posted the letter she added a last comment - Read every other line - which reversed the meaning. The young women eloped with her sweetheart and they settled in Australia.


Why English Teachers Are Important:

The Words are the same. Only the punctuation changes...

Dear Thomas, I want a man who knows what love is all about. You are generous, kind, thoughtful. People who are not like you admit to being useless and inferior. You have ruined me for other men.I yearn for you. I have no feelings whatsoever when we're apart. I can be forever happy--will you let me be yours? Maria <><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><> Dear
Thomas,
I want a man who knows what love is. All about you are generous, kind, thoughtful people, who are not like you. Admit to being useless and inferior. You have ruined me. For other men,I  yearn. For you, I have no feelings whatsoever. When we're apart, I can be forever happy. Will you let me be? Yours,

Maria

An amusing letter, illustrating the use of commas, paragraphs, spacing, changes the meaning. Apparently it was a real letter. 

Start with a capital letter

   I teach English. I receive a lot of emails from strangers. Many are sales letters. I live with an invisible hat on my head labelled 'English teacher'.

   If I can't see any other way of identifying one sex-mad writer from another, I have a marginal preference for people who start a sentence with a capital letter.

   Most people grasp this around the age of nine. At least the ones I teach do.

   Obviously some of the people on the Internet have different skills and talents. I looked at some profiles on the Internet earlier. Many of them admit: 'Don't know what to write.' 'Can't be bothered to write.'

   In recent years the UK education system went for the philosophy that spelling and grammar are not important. Now teachers, employers and government policy-makers find that there is a rocketing percentage of people who cannot read or write at all.

When I employ a plumber or electrician, I want a quotation (money, not words) in writing. 

A sentence starts with a capital letter. Sentences were not born with capital letters. Capital letters to start and full stops to end were for the benefit of printers and readers. In the early days of literacy, when not everybody could read, before universal free education,storytellers would read aloud. Even Dickens was reading aloud to audiences. 

Nowadays reading aloud is a novelty. 

Early writing, still in Arabic and Hebrew, starts on the right. Your right hand would naturally start on the writer. If you are writing in slate or wax that is fine. But if you are writing in pen and ink your hand smudges what you have just written. So the direction of writing was changed.

   Universities are complaining that graduates are turning in theses which are not fit to print. You have to start with the basics. Construct a sentence well and you can focus on your meaning and aim in life and convey it to the reader.

   In my opinion if you want to convey that you are a reliable person, then a sentence starting with a capital letter is a good start.


Angela Lansbury, author and English tutor