Irishisms, Americanisms, Essexisms

IRISH, AMERICAN & ESSEX (TRANSLATED INTO ENGLISH) by Angela Lansbury 

 As I sat at the Toastmasters International convention at the Marriott Hotel in Plymouth, I wrote down some of the puzzling things said by speakers from Ireland, America and Essex in England. I understood what they said, but on a time lapse, as if a translator was sitting inside my head. 

 IRISH 

OO and EW

The noose letter (the newsletter) 

CONFUSING PAUSES

Art tickles (articles) 

Real eyes (realize)

S and Z 

All of Oz (Nothing to do with Australia. All of us.) 

Summer temps (some attempts) 

U AND O

Motch effort (much effort) A good whale (a good while) 

Don (done) 

Be for us (before us) 

Fur gutton (forgotten) 

T and TH
Using boat (using both) 

Shame us (Seamus) 

Lauren (learn) 

E AND I

Tin projects (ten projects) 

OMITTED PAUSES

Forrit (for it) 

S and SH

Shoes (choose)

T and TH

I have two tank (I have to thank) 

Resolts are start in two cummin (results are starting to come in) 

Dis strict governor (not this strict governor but District Governor) 

No vem burr (November) 

O and U

Shore victory (sure victory - the British would say shoe-err) 

UNNECESSARY PAUSE

You nanny mouse lee (unanimously) 

I’d just like two tank (I’d just like to thank) 

T and TH

Tree cold governors (three gold governors?) 

O and U

En-shored (ensured / insured?) 

Americanisms (translated into English) 

Opper – tune – itty (opportunity) 

Essex / cockney (translated into English) 

MISSING G

Work in hard at market in (working hard at marketing) 

Up and run in (up and running)

EXTRA PAUSE
Work in up (working up) 

MISSING T

Extremely sure (extremely short) 

-ends- copyright Angela Lansbury