Wednesday, March 19, 2014

Why does correct English matter?
by Angela Lansbury

I am responding to a letter I saw on Teletext which said that another writer was wasting time nit-picking over grammar when we had major financial problems to solve.

1 In times of financial crisis we need better-paid jobs. Recruitment companies use correct spelling to help select shortlist candidates, for jobs in IT, maths, security, secretarial, solicitors’ and government offices. In times of crisis you may be made redundant and need a job of any kind.

2 It’s only five per cent of the marks in your A level, O level or GCSE, but that can make a difference between top grade for the university of your choice. Five marks for correct spelling makes the difference between pass or fail - getting into any course at all.

3 Correct spelling tells me whether I have an email from my online bank or a scam from somebody who is unemployable and will take my money. Recognizing a mis-spelled company name saves me from scams sending viruses which crash my computer.

4 An inaccurately worded will means the money goes to the wrong person or so much as spent on legal fees contesting the will that nothing is left. Correct wording can save me tax and time.

5 Incorrect or unclear, or ambiguous instructions mean customers can set fire to the microwave, injure themselves with a reversing needle on a sewing machine, or sue your company so you lose time, money and jobs. Correct wording means instead of leaving my mobile phone untouched, or taking it back for a refund, I use it and recommend it. So the shop makes more money.

6 Easy to understand language sells me an Apple MacBook laptop at twice the price I would have paid for yet another machine using only Microsoft Word.

7 Accurate wording saves lives in court. Bentley was hanged because the words, ‘Let him have it,’ were judged by the jury to have instructed him to kill the policeman, not to hand over the gun.

8 A Japanese man approaching a house to ask the way was shot dead in the USA because he did not understand the householder’s instruction ‘Freeze!’ A life would have been saved if the householder had used the less slangy and ambiguous word, ‘Stop!’

9 Hospitals regularly kill people normal patients and those on experimental programmes who are given overdoses. This could be prevented if doctors and nurses double-checked the seemingly less important little things, handwriting which is readable, and the correct, safe maximum dose.

10 Lives are lost on motorways because people parking broken down cars on the hard shoulder are ploughed into. The drivers’ minds are on the major problem - getting the broken car started, and they forget minor details like setting up the warning triangle. If parents insist on children taking care of all the details, in a crisis children and later adults will continue to do so.

11 Regarding losing money, a dress shop can order ten times the number of dresses needed by specifying the numbers of each colour and style, but not specifying the total number of dresses. Ten times the number of ships - not checking the number of zeros. In the army you lose lives if you send ten times the number of troops, or one tenth, not tallying the boots, bullet-proof vests, weapons and vehicles to the number of troops.

12 Battles are lost and wars are started because of inaccurate telegrams. It is said that countless lives were lost, that WWII was started, because the Japanese misunderstood a ambiguously worded telegram which appeared to say Japan could go ahead with an invasion of another country and America would not intervene.

(Citation needed.  Can you help make this more accurate?)

Rewrite this headline

Rewrite this headline:
    'Mother of ' (babysitter/teen died after being locked in house cries in court). 

    I have taken a real headline and changed it slightly. The subject is mother. The verb is cries. We can draw a sentence tree. Imagine a tree or face with ear rings. On the left is the branch or ear, the subject. On the right is the branch or ear, the object. Draw hanging from each branch or ear a circle for the clause describing the subject and object. Mother cries. Teen was locked in house then died.
   The subject is mother.We could have two sentences. Mother first. Teen second. Mother cries in court. She learns/learned/heard teen was locked in house, then died. Link the sentence with time description 'while/after'.
    You can rearrange the sentence several ways to make it easier for the reader to understand. One way is to put part of the information in brackets. Like this: 'Mother (of teen who died) cries ....
    The subject matter is rather grim, but that's a typical murder trial/ court case headline.
 
  
 I could have given a jollier example. Let's try that.
Mother of Olympic dancer/skater (who) got prize despite fall at last round cries with joy. 
   The reader has to read twice to work out whether the mother got the prize - and whether the mother or offspring cried with joy.
    I've put the word 'who' in to try to make the sentence clearer. By the time you get to the end of the sentence you are losing track of who is the subject and who is the object.
   Mother cries with joy after daughter wins prize despite fall.
   Mother's tears of joy after/when daughter wins dance prize despite fall.



Read my other posts on grammar.
Angela Lansbury
My cv includes writing and sub-editing women's magazines, encyclopaedias and partworks (encyclopaedias issued alphabetically in weekly parts as magazines to be stored in folders). 
Read my blogs and follow me on Facebook, or LinkedIn, YouTube, Twitter, or look at my books on lulu.com and if you like one, buy it.




Headline - woman talking about her sister says she ....

Woman talking about her sister says she ...   
    You can see the problem. Is the sister talking about herself or the sister?
 
     What the solution to this problem. I use names. 'Amanda, talking about her sister, (model/suicide) Julie, says Julie was dieting/self-harming...'
    'Suicide Julie's sister, Amanda, says, "I was dieting/self-harming ..." '
    I have taken this from a newspaper headline. To make it more cheerful for myself and you I'll make up another example:
   Woman talking about her sister says she made bride's wedding dresses for dolls
   Presumably the bride made her own wedding dress. Or was the dress made by the sister? Did they both make wedding dresses for dolls as children? Did the older sister, the bride, inspire the younger one? Or did the older sister inspire the younger bride?
   Bride's sister says she
   Same problem. We don't know who 'she' refers to, the bride or the sister.
   The reader expects she to refer to the most recent noun, the sister. That's what most grammar books would teach, that the clause modifies the preceding and nearest noun.
   But headline writers and others so often get the sentence structure wrong that the reader has to read back or on to check.

Angela Lansbury - author.
See books on lulu.com   

Friday, March 14, 2014

The fox using the phone! - Misplaced Clauses



Picture of the week in  Thursday March 13 2014 edition of the Observer
getwestlondonco.uk
to simplify and paraphrase it, 'Sophia ...snapped this (fox) using her mother...'s iPhone' .
On first reading I thought the fox was playing with an iPhone left in the garden. Seeing no phone in the photo, on second reading of the text I realise it's Sophia - using her mother's iPhone, snapped this fox.
The problem is the misplaced clause, which modifies the subject, has been added as an afterthought at the end of the sentence where the phrase seems to the reader to apply to the nearest noun which is the object of the sentence.
Subjects start sentences. 
 
Two foxes in the back garden in London. Photo by Angela Lansbury.